CrossFit KoP...On the Road the the 2010 Games.

Athlete Profile: Sammy G.

Height: 7 ft
Weight: 600 lbs
Eyes: Green
Hair: Green
Skin: Green
Age: mid 30's
Started CF: At Birth

Strength Level: Superhuman strength of the Class 100 level, enabling him to lift (press) in excess of 100 tons. This strength level is only obtained when he is enraged (i.e. during failed Muscle Ups). In a totally, calm state his functional strength is significantly less, perhaps in the 70 ton range.

Known superhuman powers: Possesses the capacity for nearly limitless physical strength.

Overhead Squat: Big tire out back, EASY!
Clean & Jerk: No need to clean and jerk when Hulk snatch lots
Snatch: Bar maxed out...Hulk not yet challenged
Press: Nothing heavy enough to make Hulk grunt
Deadlift: Big cars in parking lot. Blue Timmy P. truck heavy!
2,000m row: N/A Hulk break row cause pull too strong
500m row: N/A Hulk break row cause pull too strong
Filthy 50: DNF, double under make Hulk mad and run through wall
Fran: 1:24 and Hulk use one arm. Two arms for wussies like Bruce Banner
Heavy Fran: slower than FRAN...Hulk squat bad cause leg muscle too big
Annie: DNF, double under make Hulk mad and run through wall
Karen: 2:43 and Hulk use 112# round Atlas rock
Isabel: 0:36 and Hulk use one arm while laughing at wussy Warnek

Post WOD Recovery: Shamrock Shake...HULK love green shake!


Melanie said...

I can relate to this guy! I crush every WOD like he does!

Unknown said...

this is fantastic!

Chris P. said...

if you think this is impressive, you should ask Sam about his training schedule. Let's just say it involves a butler and no clothes!

Jason Lyons said...

Any good nerd that owns Incredible Hulk 181 knows that the hulk is 1040 pounds...right Jeff?

Maybe after Sam's 4 day fast though....LOL.

Good luck mystery man. Strict pull-ups to Regionals brother.

donkey said...

wussy warnek! oh man it's ON. this was hilarious. go SAMMY!

john said...

I hope I don't line up next to that guy! Outstanding.

Jeff said...

Best profile yet, and probably the best picture of Sam that will ever make it to the net. And yes, Jason, 1040 pounds is correct!

Kick serious ass Sam!!!

KDitty said...

Kick ass Sam!! You are going to rock it!!

Jim Curran said...

the big question is, will Sam actually post a comment to the blog? My money says no, but we are all waiting to hear!

Patti said...

Great profile, very impressive!! Lol:) Good luck

Ray said...

Beast! He just does the work.

Sam said...

Thanks Everyone (especially Jim for the faith!)...the nice thing is that the numbers set the bar low for my actual numbers so I can suprise them

Aimee Lyons said...

OMG this is monumental...Sam just posted on the blog...this is the second time in a year!

@ Jim, good thing you didn't put the house and kids on the line for this one!

Mami said...

Miss Aimee had Incredible Hulk sneakers at age two. She wore them out.

Sam? said...

Maybe it was not Sam? I can magically post as him.

Mil, do you have pictures of the sneakers?

Jim Curran said...

cyber sammy lives