CrossFit KoP Awards

It is time to start thinking about whom will get your vote for our annual CrossFit KoP Awards.  This year, there are no male/female divisions so you must choose the person that you feel most embodies the traits associated with each award.  The ballots will be at the box tomorrow, without further ado...

1)   Water Works Award:  The athlete most likely to need a pee break directly before starting a WOD (“Are we really starting in a minute?  Nope, I just said that for the water works…you actually have 5 minutes.”
2)   Gazelle Award:  The athlete most likely to bail on a warm-up and simply do the WOD (“Do you need a few minutes?  Nope, I just put my shoes on so I can gazelle this thing.”
3)   Gandalf Award:  An older athlete that is far more powerful than he or she seems.  (“I thought I had that one until Gandalf came out of nowhere and did 30 unbroken snatches.”)
4)   Rain Man Award:  The athlete that demonstrates impressive math skills despite deep in a conditioning WOD (“What round are we even in?  We are currently in round 12 and at our current pace; we will finish at 35:47 give or take 10 seconds.  Wow, thanks Rain Man.”)
5)   Simple Leopard Award:  The athlete who believes that their mobility is the only aspect of their fitness limiting their performance (“Look at the Simple Leopard flossing his quads in the hope of PR’ing his back squat by 100 pounds”)
6)   Chalk Monster Award:  The athlete most likely to have chalk everywhere; on their hands, wrists, face, legs, etc.  (“Hey Chalk Monster, be careful, I still see some skin”)
7)   Black Out King Award:  The Coach that participates in a class then immediately coaches the following class, potentially resulting in 10 minutes of complete incoherence (“What are we doing for our warm-up?  What, huh, just row for awhile.”)
8)   Warm-Up Warrior Award:  The athlete that considers it imperative to “win” the warm-up (Warm-up Warrior just set a PR on the 400m jog…he’s outside puking.”)
9)   Gone Green Award:  The athlete that reaches levels of intensity only dreamed of by most (“Did you see that, homeboy just went green and scared the hell out of everyone.”)
10)   Gear Whore Award:  The athlete that takes more time putting on gear than they do performing the WOD (“Think I have time to blow my nose?  No doubt, Gear Whore still has 15 things to put on.”)
11)   Down & Dirty Award:  The athlete demonstrating absolutely no filter in any aspect (“Did they just say what I think they did?  Probably, they always go down and dirty.”)


Unknown said...

Tomorrow is also alisons and I... 2 year friendship anniversary. .we are accepting gifts!

Dave N. said...

I may have found the perfect gift for your friend-iversary

ak said...

Thanks for the great Friend-Iversary present Dave!

Unknown said...

Souka..you're a good guy! Thanks for the penis mug..gives new meaning to good to the last drop!!